Three Last-Minute Holiday Gifts for Procrastinators

It's three days until Christmas and you still haven't bought anything because you're a terrible person. Don't panic — I've got you covered:

1. Bose Wireless Noise-Canceling Headphones

These are the perfect gift for the holidays because they're actively noise-canceling. With a flick of a switch, you can drown out the sound of your extended relatives and their children. Hell, they're wireless, so you don't even need to listen to anything; just put them on and enjoy the silence. Order now →

2. Oculus Go Virtual Reality Headset

There is no material thing in this world that can bring us joy, a fact you have slowly learned to accept after witnessing the disappointment in your father's eyes year after year. Reality is bleak, our time on this Earth is short, and our lives are punctuated by tragedy. Order now →

3. Airmega Air Purifier

As you imbibe and celebrate this holiday, remember that the impurities in our minds & souls are deep and unchangeable, and are likely to consume you over time. The best we can do is purify our surroundings, which is why I recommend this excellent HEPA air filter. Order now →

Happy holidays!

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